Hip Replacement 5: Diagrams and Chocolate

It’s been seven days and 12 hours since the insertion of the New Toy for June. This New Toy, like most things in this electronic age, is somewhat less than plug and play, although it’s clear, even in these early days, that the New Toy is infinitely preferable to the Old Hip.

Here’s the tidy graphic that St. Vincent’s Handbook puts out as illustrative of what happens with a hip replacement”

All very tidy, ain’t it?

Here’s what the slightly messier X-ray looked like — the bad hip is on the right of the screen (but it’s the left hip — got that? — Jer initialed the properly bad hip for the surgeon before we left the house for the hospital).

Jer says this is a pretty picture, but I’m not so sure. For one thing, I don’t think I’ll be able to paint the muckle (on the right) of the mash-up of lights and darks adequately. I’m sure I could do a better job of painting the amazing bruises that are now traversing their way through my leg (it looks much worse today than it did on Sunday).  I made Jer take photos of the bruises as he mucked about with the bandages, because I was literally in no position to see what was happening. However, I think I have too much vanity to disclose them in public. Perhaps I will use them as an (angst/sturm und drang/Oh woe is me!) prompt for a series of paintings .

On the other hand, since the surgery has occasioned such goodies as Trader Joe’s chocolate covered orange sticks from John and Susan Saling, as well as a hilarious hour spent talking about our respective worst jobs, I fear the angst won’t ring true.

I continue to circle the house with the walker, read Janet’s mysteries (finished four and have two more started, but think I’ll start Larsson #2 tonight), allow Jer to pamper me outrageously,  and try to remember the rules of New Toys.  “Bad leg Out,” yells Jer, from the kitchen when I get up to go to dinner. “Right” I mumble meekly. He hasn’t seen me this meek since, well, perhaps never.

Then, because I am weak and wan and have just been ordered about, I make him get me another chocolate, .  Of course, later, I get my own chocolates — part of the exercise routine, of course.  –June

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8 Responses to Hip Replacement 5: Diagrams and Chocolate

  1. June says:

    Janet, I wouldn’t say that movement was hypothetical. Or at least attempts weren’t. They were definitely real, as my squawks of pain demonstrated

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  2. June says:

    Kathy,
    I can see why you would yearn for a bit of down-time. Your exhibiting schedule right now is phenomenal. I laughed out loud at the difficulty of delivering your painting in the heart of Boston — while art may be an obsession and a storage problem, it also might be thought of as a delivery problem –re Honda Civic and 28 feet of canvas from Nevada to Portland. Congrats on the wonderful work you are doing.

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  3. janetl says:

    I’m impressed by the bad hip in that X-ray. It looks as if movement was largely hypothetical.

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  4. Kathy Hodge says:

    Hi June,
    I just read about your surgery, I give you a lot of credit for tackling those big panels in the Red Barn with a hurting hip. Who knows what you’ll be able to accomplish with brand new parts!
    Not that I’m hoping for surgery or anything, but the “down time” part of it seems not so bad!

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  5. june says:

    Thanks, Lia and Del. Lia, another (close by) friend has a library that will hold me for much too long — I just now found “An Echo in the Bone” which at 814 pages will hold me a bit. Carla, bending sounds like a useful thing — and not having to remember Not to bend even more useful. I find I’m more a creature of habit than I thought.

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  6. Carla says:

    It does seem you are getting along well. Just think, in less than five weeks you will be allowed to bend and perhaps drive.

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  7. Del says:

    Oh, you poor thing. I am so sorry for you having to put up with Jer as a ‘nurse’. Or maybe ‘drill sarg’ would be more apt. But think of the alternative – having nobody to yell at you, but nobody to help either. Good thing he agrees with the need for chocolate.
    Some friends have not enjoyed Larsson #2 – too grisly – but I thought it was fantastic. I’m saving #3 to read AFTER I get the SQG n/l out. Hard thing to do, but necessary.

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  8. Lia says:

    sounds like things are going about as well as they can be! Let me know if you need Larsson #3 and I’ll send it.

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